Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Flippin Fulop - far from 'armless


Wise football folk will always say your team's fate isn't decided on the final day. They also say there is no point in looking back over a season of iffy decisions, glaring misses and last minute equalisers to work out either where you blew it or how different things would be in a 'fair' universe.

They're right, of course. So let's not do that. Let's definitely not dwell on being robbed away at Stoke (and rotten at home to Stoke), or getting precisely no points from consecutive games against Norwich and QPR. Let's not linger over having efforts cleared off the line at the death in both games against Chelsea. Or THAT moment away at Man City (followed almost immediately by THE OTHER MOMENT away at Man City)

But can we, perhaps, take just a minute or two to gape open-mouthed and broken-hearted at the performance of Mr Martin* Fulop - once of this parish, more recently of West Bromwich, and now, presumably, of a brand new palace made of gold and crushed unicorn horns in some far-off island paradise (how he afforded it, I guess we'll never know).

I heard on Sunday evening, via Twitter of course, that he had had a shocker, but couldn't be bothered to check it out. I then accidentally saw the goals on SSN the next morning. Oh my word. That's match-fixingly bad.

That was Hooveringly bad. As in a proper noun nearly became a verb ('Ooh, he's fuloped that right up') and a common noun ('The lad's had a fulop') in just a matter of minutes.

West Brom would surely have done better to play one-armed washer-upper Albert Riddle from Robin's Nest between the sticks. Ah, you might point out, but the actor that played him, David Kelly (obviously), died early this year.

I know. And?

(Oh, by the way, no, I don't think for a moment there was anything crooked about his performance; and I think if you had to pinpoint any one factor in us finishing fourth rather than third, it would be Arsenal winning six points in injury time within the space of five games or so, by grabbing winners against Sunderland, Liverpool and Newcastle. As far as I know, that's perfectly within the rules)

*Actually Marton, but it looks so much like a typo...