Thursday, 22 September 2011

Peering at Wigan

I have never been to Wigan.

I am reasonably certain that I will never go to Wigan.

I have nothing against Wigan. Why would I? Why would anyone?

When I think of Wigan (not often, I must admit), I think of The Road to Wigan Pier, Wigan Casino and Stuart Maconie. All excellent things (albeit things that I have never read/been to/met. I just instinctively approve). And, of course, I think of pies. But that's not necessarily to do with Wigan. I just quite often find myself thinking of pies. I'm doing it now.

Right, sorry, yes, I like their football team, as well. Again, why wouldn't you? Completely devoid of pretension or agenda (or, quite often, fans), they couldn't offend if they ran out with the word 'CUNT' on their shirts.

And there go my last remaining hopes of a NewsNow listing... Ah well, fuck 'em.

Wigan had a weird start to the season, playing all the promoted sides in their first three fixtures. They drew with Swansea and Norwich and beat QPR - but that was Old QPR, not Bright Shiny New QPR. So, not a great return.

Since then they've lost to City, Palace and Everton and, well... look, I'm not going to predict a win, of course I'm not, but if you look at their run of results, then you watch the MotD highlights for the 27th time, and you knock back, say, half a bottle of red, put on something especially stirring by Ralph Vaughan Williams, squint a bit... well, you can maybe see a score draw, right?


  1. Apparently, they're looking at signing Brentford keeper Reg Cunt in the January transfer window so that may yet happen. But, yeah, you're right, I still wouldn't be offended.

    I'll just be offended by us if we lose to them.

    Oh and I'm not anonymous, it's me, Ron. I just can't be bothered with all the registration nonsense.

  2. That reminds me of that classic fantasy football joke by Frank Skinner, in which he said the Germans have decided to be the first country to display national characteristics in their shirts, then showed the player called Kuntz.

    This isn't that clip, but it related, and no less funny:

  3. I'm Anonymous.

    What we want at the end of ninety minutes is a good old cockerney knees up blended with some Wiganesque northern soul, a clean sheet and the continuation of JD's scoring spree.