Tuesday, 28 June 2011

There's no place like home

Such Small Portions is happy to present another post from special guest @Bentleysbird. As well as being a star of the THFC Twitterati, she has also been active in the We Are N17 campaign. Here are her strong but eminently sensible views on our ongoing stadium saga...

So the story goes a bit like this. There’s this amazing Technicolor land where everything is brighter and where your dearest wish can be granted by a magical man.

Turns out that it’s all just a con. Everyone already possessed the ingredients for their greatest desire. The magical man talked a good game, but actually there’s no place like home. Anyway, enough about the bid for the Olympic Stadium, who wants to talk about the Wizard of Oz?

There were many pros and cons to moving to Stratford which have been discussed to death so I’m not going to bore you with them here. The basis of every one of them was this; head v heart, money v history. And I’m an old fashioned kinda gal, so old fashioned I still think winning cups is important, so for me it wasn’t a hard choice to make.

We were told more than once to take the emotion out of it. That’s a big statement to make when every penny spent by every fan of every club is based on emotion. Take the emotion away and it’s 22 men and a ball - which is not worth £700 of my hard earned cash for a season ticket plus away games and cups. So if it’s all the same to everyone I’ll remain emotional thanks.

Then the argument turned silly, pitched as success v staying in Tottenham. Does anyone want to ask our friends at the Emirates how a shiny new stadium has improved them? Are Bolton challenging for the league, have they just signed Lionel Messi? No. It’s a ridiculous argument with no basis in fact.

The strange thing about the entire situation is that the Spurs bid seemed to absolutely ignore the basics of what had been asked for: athletics to stay and community use of the stadium.

And that’s why West Ham won. Because they did as they were asked. Not because there was bias, not because the OPLC made dodgy decisions and not because Hugh Robertson MP and the Mayor of London ratified an unfair decision. Because with huge arrogance, someone at Spurs thought it was a good idea to ignore the basic requirements of a bid.

So, click your heels three times (forgetting the colour of the slippers) and look at that, we’re back in Kansas where Aunty Em and Uncle Henry (or Clare Kober and David Lammy as they’re better known) were waiting with the soothing news that it was all a bad dream.

But wait, who could forget Return to Oz? A bizarre, scary and definitely unnecessary sequel. Or as I prefer to call it, ‘Daniel, just leave it the fuck alone, you’re embarrassing yourself and the club, move on, it’s over’ which I think you will agree is far catchier.

You’d think the fact that a judge agreed with my revised title, telling Spurs that they did not have the right to appeal would mean that it’s all done and we can now concentrate on how to build in Tottenham right? Wrong. Instead, the club are now deciding whether to appeal against not being allowed to appeal.

More money spent on something that is gone- hopefully someone will ask at the AGM how much this has cost so far and how much of a new striker or an improvement on Modric’s wages that could have paid for. Now I’m not saying that I want a house to land on Levy but I’m starting to think it may be the only way to stop him.

You may recall that there were rumours that a third Oz film would be made. But Disney realised it was a rubbish idea so it never happened. Daniel, I beg you, take a leaf from their book, admit when something is a bad idea and repeat after me: There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home……


  1. Excellent - but sad there was no mention of that scene where a munchkin can be seen hanging in the background...
    Time to draw a line, and even though it is getting political now with Ken coming out with statements - I think we are getting closer to the 'original' plans

  2. Ermmmmm, think you missed the part where West Ham haven't actually won yet ...

    And surely it is O's application and not Spurs review that will cause a rebidding. Think you are about 3 or 4 months behind the times...

  3. Entertaining and spoken like a true fan, but we are still left with the problem. Would anyone contemplating building a multi-million pound stadium complex choose Tottenham? I ask this having been born and brought up in N17. Visit WHL on anything other than a match day and it can be a very scary place. Stratford is not the answer but neither is staying put
    Geoff Brown

  4. Great guest post. (There aren't enough flying houses about to land on those who deserve one, unfortunately.)

  5. This post even more relevant in the light of the latest news on Levy seeking permission to sue Newham Council and the Olympic Legacy Co. We are N17