Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Keeping the faith?

It is customary for pretentious and predictable fuck faces such as myself, when discussing Wigan in any context, to make mention of George Orwell's The Road to Wigan Pier. Preferably via some sort of pun.

But I can't think of any. So, let me instead just casually mention that I've read, like, loads of books. Some of them were almost entirely about how people were feeling and what they were thinking and stuff, with hardly anything actually happening at all. Brilliant.

Actually, I think I might be able to work the phrase 'down and out' into a preview, if that'll help? As in: if we don't win I'll be incredibly down and we'll be completely out of the race for fourth - which will then officially become a struggle for fifth.

I kind of like Wigan.

I like their manager.

I like the way he makes his teams (at least try and) play football.

I like how he once talked to a Spanish newspaper and was all, like, 'what the fuck?' about the other Premier League managers' frankly embarrassing kowtowing to SAF - until he found his dog's head in his bed and toed the line like everyone else. (He didn't have a horse. And now he doesn't have a dog).

I like that they scored two late goals last season to beat Arsenal and kill off their title "chances".

I like how we beat them 9-1 last year.

I even like how they came back to the Lane this season and regained their pride. (I didn't, obviously, but fair play to them)

I like their chairman and his old-school 'mill owner' approach to basically subsidising his hometown club.

I like that he named the stadium after himself and don't see any reason why he fucking shouldn't have done.

What I don't like are our chances of beating them at that stadium this weekend.

With an occasionally iffy defence and a continually average strike force, we tend to win games when the best four or five players from our astonishingly good midfield options are available, fully fit and in form.

When we have Bale, Modric, Lennon plus one from either Sandros, Thud or even Jenas firing on all cylinders, then we're a hell of a side.

That absolutely won't be the case on Saturday.

Maybe Pienaar will suddenly make it clear exactly why we bought him and what he adds to the squad. Maybe Kranjcar will start. Maybe we'll play quite badly but be rescued by our razor sharp strikers snaffling the two or three half chances that come their way. And maybe Liz Hurley will stop begging me for sex long enough to knock up a quick bacon sandwich, but not long enough to cover herself up. Brown sauce please. (Not a euphemism).

We should, of course, win with any combination in all departments. This lot are rock bottom. But I still think they're a decent side and that we'll end up trudging away with our third frustrating draw in the last four games (with the odd one out being a defeat).

None of the three possible results would surprise me, though. And maybe we just need a little luck in the Wigan casino. Keep The Faith - that's the slogan associated with the famous and now defunct night spot. Easier said than done. But if we win on Saturday I might just give Do I Love You? (Indeed I Do) a spin and chuck some talc on the floor. Trust me, this is a good thing.

Oh, and it's the most important game of the season so far. Again. Did I not mention that?


  1. Ha, aren't they all?

    Although we do seem to be doing our best to drop enough points to ensure the last four or five are relegated to irrelevance.

  2. Hate the phrase must win but this is. I think the game is just as big as Madrid. CL needed to keep vultures away from Bale VdV and most importantly the irreplaceable Modric

  3. A Modric devotee? You are most welcome, Yiddo1882. Make yourself at home.