Friday, 4 March 2011

Beware the 'idings of March

Blackpool beat us 3-1. Wolves beat Blackpool 4-0. So... what?

Well, yes, that's probably the correct answer: so what?

But, we don't like Wolves much, do we? They did the double over us last year and this season's 3-1 win at the Lane was about as convincing as John Prescott in drag. When Alan Hutton's your saviour, you know you've been in a dark, dark place.

Wolves just aren't our type of team. They're all angular and awkward. Like really, really bad jazz. By which I mean 'jazz'.

We're all smooth and floaty. Like, er, Enya?

They'll certainly be looking forward to our visit far more than we're looking forward to making the trip.

As ever, it's A Massive Game. Nuzzling up against the edges of proper success is really tiring in that sense.

By this stage, we're usually playing dead rubbers against Everton. These days, Wolves away has the potential to be the game that shapes our season, maybe even next season, maybe even beyond that. Basically the entire future of Tottenham Hotspur Football Club should be decided one way of the other by about six o'clock on Sunday.

Also as ever, it doesn't feel good. Man Utd, Chelsea and Man City have already fallen up there. More than enough evidence to suggest that Molineux doesn't make things simple.

(I'd guess you have to be at least 40 to get that reference to an old advertising slogan for Moulinex. Plus, it only works if you see the two words written down, not when you say them. And even if you do get it, what are you going to do? Laugh? Of course not. I really shouldn't have bothered.)

An optimistic man might point out, they've also lost at home to Stoke, Liverpool, Wigan, Bolton, Arsenal and Aston Villa. That man is an idiot. Even if, in this case, that man is me. Especially as, in this case, that man is me.

Last time out against Blackpool, with Bale and VdV out, I thought the only way we'd win is if the damn finally broke and our strikers delivered a deluge of goals. As it is, the drought continued. A hose pipe ban is to be introduced in April - bad news for Aaron Lennon, if the rumours are to be believed.

So, there you have it, the usual mix of the team news, tactical insight, in-depth analysis and expert opinion.... can probably be found somewhere else on the internet.

Although, be careful exactly what you type in the search box.

Also, this week's concerted drive to get Such Small Portions a slightly bigger slice of Twitter pie ends here, largely because it's made fuck all difference. Oh go on. It means you'll never miss another post again. I've said the wrong thing, haven't I?

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